Surely There’s More To Life Than This?

Have you caught yourself thinking, “Surely there’s more to life than this?”

I have.

And I hear similar questions from women all the time.

Perimenopause can be a powerful time to pause and reflect.

Yes, hormones are changing.

However, life itself is often changing too.

Sometimes those changes happen slowly.

Other times, everything seems to shift at once.

That can leave you questioning who you are now.

It can also make you wonder what you actually want next.

Midlife Can Change More Than Your Body

Your role with your children may be changing.

Perhaps you are navigating teenagers and their own hormonal adventures.

Maybe your adult children are beginning lives of their own.

Suddenly, you may find yourself becoming a “free birder”.

That can bring freedom.

However, it can also leave an unexpected gap.

Your relationship with your parents may also be changing.

Perhaps you are becoming their support person.

You may even be stepping into a caring role.

For others, midlife means navigating life without one or both parents.

Meanwhile, work may also be shifting.

Your career might feel different.

Business may no longer excite you in the same way.

Relationships can change too.

Even the things you once loved may feel less important.

That is a lot to process at once.

The Questions I Started Asking

I found myself questioning things too.

There were activities I no longer enjoyed.

Some things felt like they belonged to an earlier version of me.

Other things simply didn’t fit anymore.

I also realised I was holding onto relationships that no longer felt aligned.

Then there was perfectionism.

Far out, that one had been hanging around for years.

Eventually, I started replacing perfectionism with something much healthier.

I decided that doing my best was enough.

However, I didn’t have answers for everything.

And I stopped expecting myself to.

Instead, I asked three questions.

1. What do I want to let go of?

2. What do I want to park for now?

3. What do I want to explore?

Those questions gave me permission to be curious.

What I Chose To Let Go

Some things were easy to release.

I had crafts that no longer interested me.

So I stopped telling myself I should enjoy them.

Some relationships no longer felt right either.

Therefore, I created space there too.

Most importantly, I started letting go of perfectionism.

I didn’t need everything done perfectly anymore.

Doing my best felt far more freeing.

And honestly, it still does.

Not Everything Needs An Answer

There were other things I wasn’t sure about.

Do I still enjoy drawing?

Would I like to run again?

Do horror movies still float my boat?

The jury is still out 😂

Previously, I may have wanted an immediate answer.

Now, I’m comfortable parking things.

They can sit there until I feel curious again.

That alone creates space.

Then I Asked What I Wanted More Of

This question felt completely different.

What do I want MORE of?

Immediately, a few things became clear.

I wanted more nature.

More travel.

And I wanted more experiences.

There was something else too.

Our children are adults now.

So I wanted hubby and I to rediscover ourselves as a couple.

For years, parenting naturally occupied a huge part of our lives.

Now, another chapter is opening.

I want us to explore that together.

The Whale That Became A Symbol

Recently, hubby and I flew from Melbourne to Sydney.

It was only a weekend away.

Yet it represented something much bigger for me.

We went whale spotting.

It had been on my bucket list for years.

And far out, it was friggen incredible 🐋

There was something magical about being out there together.

We were surrounded by nature.

We were travelling.

And we were sharing a completely new experience.

Three things I had decided I wanted more of.

Suddenly, they weren’t ideas written in a journal.

We were living them.

Perimenopause Can Also Bring Growth

We hear plenty about the difficult parts of perimenopause.

Those conversations are important.

However, there is another side worth talking about.

Midlife can bring enormous growth.

It can bring clarity.

It can create freedom.

You may discover different interests.

New boundaries can emerge.

Relationships may deepen.

Others may naturally fall away.

Your priorities can become clearer.

Most importantly, you can start asking what YOU want.

That question can feel unfamiliar.

Especially after decades of looking after everybody else.

Yet it can also feel incredibly freeing.

Maybe It Isn’t A Midlife Crisis

People love using the phrase “midlife crisis”.

I’ve never particularly liked it.

For many women, something much more meaningful is happening.

We are reassessing.

We’re becoming clearer.

Letting things go.

And we are making space for something different.

That doesn’t sound like a crisis to me.

It sounds like a midlife breakthrough.

Try These Three Questions

If you’ve been thinking, “Surely there’s more to life than this?”, explore that feeling.

You don’t need to change everything tomorrow.

Instead, become curious.

Ask yourself what you want to let go of.

Then consider what you want to park for now.

Finally, ask yourself what you want to explore.

Give yourself permission to imagine.

What would you like more of?

Adventure?

Calm?

Connection?

Confidence?

Perhaps you want more travel.

Maybe you simply want more time for yourself.

There is no correct answer.

It is your next chapter.

And you get to have a say in how it looks.

So I’ll leave you with one question.

What do you want MORE of in the second half of your life?

Share this with another woman who might need this conversation too 🩷

• Coach Terri