Recently, one of my clients, Debbie, was talking about what she values most about coaching.

I expected her to mention accountability.

Perhaps she would talk about nutrition, habits, mindset or reaching her goals.

Instead, she described something much more personal.

She talked about having a space where the conversation is finally about HER.

And what she said really stayed with me.

“[Coaching], it’s a time that you get to feel that it’s your time, and that the things that you are saying, you’re being validated. In a way that you don’t get from anywhere else. And there’s no judgment. I can say what I need to say. I can say how I’m feeling. I can say when I f@#ked up or when I’m not good enough or whatever and know that it’s like, right, well, then moving forward, this is something we can do. And it’s not about judgment, and you’re just not going to get that from anywhere else.”
– Debbie Goldsworthy

Far out, THIS is why I absolutely love coaching women. 🥹🩷

Sometimes We Need Somewhere To Say It

Women can spend an enormous amount of their lives supporting everyone else.

We listen, help, organise and remember what everybody needs.

Often, we keep things moving while carrying plenty ourselves.

Yet even when we desperately need to talk, many of us hold back.

We think, “They’ve got their own shit going on.”

We do not want to burden our friends, partners or family.

So, another worry stays inside our head.

Another frustration gets pushed down.

Another difficult conversation goes around those 47 open tabs in our brain. 😂

Interestingly, we can hold back the GOOD stuff too.

Maybe something amazing happened.

Perhaps we achieved something we are incredibly proud of.

We might have an exciting idea or finally reach a goal.

Yet we hesitate to share it.

We worry someone might think we are bragging.

So we silence the hard stuff and minimise the wonderful stuff.

Eventually, there can be a LOT sitting inside us with nowhere to go.

Coaching Gives You Space For Both

That is something I value enormously about coaching.

You can tell me something went completely pear-shaped.

You can also tell me something absolutely fabulous happened.

Both conversations matter.

You do not need to protect me from your worries.

Likewise, you never need to shrink your wins.

If something amazing happened, I want to hear about it.

We are celebrating that sucker! 😂🩷

If something was difficult, we can talk about that too.

There is room for the whole story.

Coaching Is Not About Judging Your Week

Debbie’s words about judgement are particularly important to me.

Something going wrong does not automatically mean you failed.

Instead, we become curious about what happened.

Maybe life became incredibly busy.

Perhaps stress affected your eating, sleep or motivation.

An old behaviour might have returned.

You may have avoided something because it felt uncomfortable.

Whatever happened, we start where you actually are.

Then the conversation becomes:

“Okay, this is where we are. What can we learn, and how do we move forward?”

That is very different from beating yourself up.

No Two Women Need The Same Conversation

One reason I love coaching is that every session can be completely different.

That makes sense because every woman is different too.

One conversation might focus on nutrition or exercise.

Another might explore sleep, stress or everyday habits.

Sometimes we discuss mindset, limiting beliefs or self-sabotaging behaviours.

Another session might involve boundaries or learning to advocate for yourself.

Then there are days when someone simply needs to TALK.

Something may have been circling inside her head for weeks.

Once it is spoken aloud, we can finally explore it together.

Feeling Validated Does Not Mean Staying Stuck

I also love that Debbie used the word “validated”.

Validation does not mean simply agreeing with everything someone says.

For me, it means her experience gets heard.

Her feelings can be acknowledged without immediately being dismissed.

From there, we can decide what might actually help.

Sometimes I coach through questions.

Those questions can help a woman understand herself differently.

At other times, mentoring becomes part of the conversation.

I might share knowledge, strategies or experience that could support her.

The approach changes depending on what she needs that day.

This Is What Gives Me The Biggest Buzz

My coaching conversations might begin with nutrition, sleep or stress.

Yet sometimes something much bigger happens along the way.

A woman begins trusting herself.

She finally sets the boundary.

Perhaps she speaks up during an appointment.

Maybe she tries something she previously believed she could not do.

She might recognise an old behaviour and start changing it.

Or she might finally allow herself to celebrate a win without minimising it.

Those shifts genuinely light me up. 🩷

Imagine Having An Hour That Is Yours

This is the part of Debbie’s quote I keep coming back to.

“It’s a time that you get to feel that it’s your time.”

Imagine having an hour where nobody needs anything from you.

You are not Mum, partner, daughter, employee, boss or problem-solver.

You can talk about the hard thing without worrying you are burdening someone.

You can share the exciting thing without worrying you sound full of yourself.

You can say what you are actually thinking.

What are you struggling with?

What are you proud of?

Where are you feeling stuck?

What has gone brilliantly?

What do you need next?

There is something incredibly powerful about making room for all of it.

We acknowledge where you are.

Then we work out where you want to go next.

Debbie, thank you for putting that experience into words so beautifully. 🩷

Your words reminded me exactly why I love this work.

What would it feel like to have a space where you could say exactly what you’re thinking, without judgement?

Much love,
Terri 🩷